Deceiving

was grounded for slamming the door this morning. here's how it went:
half-asleep: hears dad saying, "She doesn't even let us know her password and she's changing your user account!"
Me: charges to the door, yanks it open in time to see dad slide his bedroom door closed. rush over to mom's computer and fix her damned wallpaper.
me: stomps into the room and slams the door (w/ automatic lock on).
mom: grabs the spare key and thunders into my room. yells all sorts of idiotic parental scolding at me. i answer back in sarcastic tones.
mom: runs to dad, complaigns.
dad: yanks the spare key from her hand, kicks my door open. "I'M SICK OF YOU AND YOUR WHINEY VOICE!!! NOW SHUT UP!!" leaves
me: cries a little after Mom removes Computer priveleges of the day
***
later:
"Where did the Devil go?"
Mom: "WHAT!?"
Me: realizes not a good time to be me: "I said, where the devil did dad go?"
Mom: "That's harsh speaking! i shall nto tolerate it!" i got off scott-free...
***
later:
"Where's the bullfrog?"
Mom: "yes, i guess he's annoying at times."
***
later:
Mom: calls me.
"I'll let you use the computer until i return"
Me: "uhm, Okay?" (Where the hell'd SHE come from? and what'd she do w/ my mom?)
Mom: but first you must apologize.
me: Apologize for what? slamming the door? YOU'RE the one who accused me wrongly!
yells, grabs my hair, pinches me. i sit calmy at her desk, drawing, and whistling. alternate humming between 'Twinkle, twinkle, little Star' and "now i know my ABCs'.
***
later:
me: meekly "I'm sorry for being a Sass. may i use the computer?"
Mom: hugs me. "After we pray."
me: 'Okay" try to pray with as much sincerety a liar can.
after: i use the computer.

and THAT's how you can be a smartass and STILL get full priveledges...:) how DO I do it???